DIY lois lane life.
sera. 23. she/her/hers.

yeah, so that post titled ‘problems with being a male’

it’s well intentioned enough but it’s missing a variety of points. (and i apologize to those of my followers who are already educated on this subject because this is going to be a lot of repetition, but it’s worth reiterating for those who are confused.)

the first point being that the majority of the issues they bring up are, surprise, born from misogyny and homophobia. lack of discussion about male victims of domestic violence and rape are a direct result of internalized notions of masculinity, which is in turn informed by misogyny.

so these aren’t problems INHERENT to being male— they’re the double edged sword of sexism against women.

this IS NOT to say that men can’t suffer and that we can’t fight to ease the problems inflicted upon them by societal constructs of masculinity. however, the tone of the whole argument seems to be “hey ladies, men have it rough too!” which sounds an awful lot like an attempt to equate male oppression to oppression of women on a systemic level. this isn’t a competition. patriarchy screws everyone over— but it serves to benefit men in the long run. the entire post is so absorbed in listing every possible detriment to being a dude that it ignores the fact that every one of them is the result of misogyny, and the first step in addressing those problems is addressing misogyny— not by engaging in the oppression olympics. it’s pretty simple logic.

YES, men are disadvantaged by sexism. YES, it can pervade your life and make you miserable and prevent you from expressing yourself. YES, it can put you in danger of being assaulted, physically and emotionally and sexually. NO, it’s not sexism against men that causes these problems. YES, you can help solve all these problems by fighting institutional and systemic sexism. it’s a win-win!

(and NO, the occasional angry feminist who calls you a scumbag by virtue of you being a dude does not equate to oppression— it’s insulting at best and bullying at worst.)

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